Wednesday, January 30, 2008
This weekend we're having a dinner party with my bf's friends at his mom's, and I've been required to take at least 25 cinnamon rolls. I've decided to take some filhozes too, so my mother-in-law to be will try them, because she's nice, and I think they will be apreciated. So I've decided to cook them today and freeze them. because I won't have alot of time tomorrow to cook both the rolls and filhozes.
I just put about:
2 cups of milk,
a big spoon of sugar and
half a cup of vgetable oil in a hot pan and let it almost boil. It actually boiled a little.
Then to make it colder faster I put it in another container and etc. You can just wait till it's warm and not HOT, and then get a little bag of 11 grams of yeast in, and let it get moist and foamy. Stir.... then add flour until it's a ball of dough.
Let it rest, go take a shower or something. I've decided to not add any igredientes now, so they don't interfere with the yeast's happyness. I'll add them right after my shower. I'll let it rise for a little over half an hour.
I'll be back later to tell what I added next. Only God knows, so I won' try to predict.
Back. took a shower, did some streching...
I added :
1 teaspoon of salt
1 teaspoon of baking soda
a big teaspon with baking powder
zest rom 1 big orange, and half of the juice from it
1 big spoon of port win
8 egg yokes
I mixed if with my hand. It had lots of noodles, but they were dissolved after some stirring. Then added more flour to make it harder. I don't want it too hard. they are easier to mold if harder, but makes them more compact and we don't want that. I'm tired by now.
The dough will rise now for a while. 1 to 3 hours. See ya then.
Learning to cook by trial-error method and hibernating.
2. What color are your socks right now?
. 3. What are you listening to right now?
Background sound of the tv and my typing.
4. What was the last thing that you ate?
The thing I'm gonna post a picture of on the post above, called Filhóz. Fried dough with sugar and cinnamon all over it.
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Yes.
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
I did a test about this once and it said I would be Plum. I agree.
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
I think my mother, this afternoon.
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
Yes, she is lovely.
10. Favorite drink? Depends ALOT. On the top are "cafe au lait" , coke, passion fruit drinks, apple juice, water, mango juice....etc. Would be lot easier to say what I don't like.
11. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? I hate all, but maybe olympic diving is the most bareble, or olympic ice skating. ice skating? ...sliding? I don't know. (english is NOT my first language, just so you know)
12. Have you ever dyed your hair? yes.....
How long do you have? I've had fish, periquits (?) other type of birds i can't name, turtles, many many many dogs and cats, chickens, ducks, turky, a pig, horses, hamster, hedgehog, pidgeons, goats, cows..... I've had dozens of cats over my life and dozens of dogs. But I l remember the name of my first dog, Tobias. And the dog that marked me the most was Serra, a very motherly german shepperd. The cats we didn't even name. I think i've covered the list.
14. Favorite food? Depends on what my body i craving that day. I like internacional food alot, chinese, pizza, indian food!!...
15. Last movie you watched? Ensemble, c'est tout. I loved i. I miss happy endings.
16. What's your Favorite Day of the year? My birthday.
17. What was your favorite toy as a child?Either my pets or barbies. And a bigger doll I had, with gorgeous dark straight hair, just like I wanted to have mine. I loved cutting their hair.
18. What is your favorite, fall or spring?
I'd have to say spring. That's when I get out of hybernation and greet the sun.
19. Hugs or kisses? Hugs
20. Cherry or Blueberry? CherrIES. Plural. I eat loads of them.
21. Do you want your friends to email you back? That would be fun, but i don't think they will since I'm not gonna forward this.
22. Who is most likely to respond? No one
23. Who is least likely to respond? The president of Quenia.
24. Current living arrangements? in a flat with my favorite cousin, and the ocasional gecko.
25. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday.
26. What is on the floor of your closet? old clothes I might wear sometime to paint the house in.
27. Who is/are the friend(s) you have had the longestthat you are sending this to?
Ì don't like to repeat myself alot.
28. Which friend have you had the shortest that youare sending this to?
yeah, it's a great night. I think tomorrow might rain a bit though.
29. Favorite smell? vanilla..ocean... herbs.
30. What inspires you? watching people, music.
31. What are you afraid of? not having support
32. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?cheese
33. Favorite car? hm. i'd like to have a convertible bmw, in platinum grey.
34. Favorite cat breed? Ragdolls.
35. Number of keys on your key ring? Four.
36. How many years at your current job? I think since past lifes.
37. Favorite day of the week? Saturday.
38. How many states have you lived in? One.
39. How many countries have you been to? Six. seven if you count the one I live in.
40. Today's date and time: 30th January 2008 10:30
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
I haven't figured out how to personalise links with html here ) http://www.devilmood.blogspot.com/
Here are the Rules:
- Link to the person that tagged you.
- Post the rules on your blog.
- Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
- Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
- Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
1- I , involuntarily, threw myself over a cliff on a 4 wheel moto at the age of 11, broke a few ribs and got some scars.
2- I learned to drive a car at the age of 12.
3- I have 2 sisters and 1 adopted brother. And yes, my parents are nuts.
4- As any middle child, I'm traumatized. To ilustrate this I can tell you my parents like to tell the story of me in the crib with my 10 month younger sister and I'd cry and then shout her name, so they would think it was her crying, this was meant to make someone come faster.
5- I wanted to be a virgin until marriage due to my faith in God. I changed my mind about both at 22.
6 - I like writing this so much I'm considering writing random facts about me on regular posts. Maybe once a week.
Monday, January 28, 2008
I keep thinking if that life turns out to not be so pretty, if there's desease, children with no health... would I cope? the answer is problably not. My inner balance is pretty fragile. I can't afford to make bad important choices. I usually don't.
I feel very anguished about this. It's hard to explain the process through which stability in relationships has become so important for me lately, and how it seems to matter just as much as all the things I don't have.
I'll wait. A bit longer.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
I WAS NOT KIDDING ABOUT THE COOKING CRAZE....
The cinnamon rolls I did 2 days ago disapeared quickly and I was asked to do some more for a party in 2 weeks. So I decided to practise some more, see how it goes.
They don't look bad, but I was really depressed with the first set of rolls I took out of the oven. They are pale..... and for some reason the frosting is pale too. I had very high expectations, and now I'm tired and disapointed.
But at least I've learned a couple of things and next time I'll do things better: I'll make the dough a little thicker so it can cook more time and I think it will taste better too, not so sweet. And make the coffee for the frosting a little stronger. And maybe put some butter on them before cooking for a more golden look. I hope that works....
Now i'm waiting for the frosting to get harder so I can freeze them. I'm not too happy though :(
Also the dough has some brown freckles! what's that about? I've done pizza dough and other stuff and that always happens, I have absolutly no idea why. i've seen it in bread that I've bought, so maybe it's not me. Since these are so pale the freckles are more noticable. The frosting made them prettier.
I really wasn't kidding about the craze. I'm embarassed to get into details about that.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
I just came back from the theater. I saw the portuguese version of Jesus Christ Superstar. I liked Judas! See his video above. He kicks ass. Today we got the substitute for the main Jesus Christ, not the one you see on the video above, and I think that was a pitty. If he was meant to be the main atraction, he certainly wasn't today. Judas took over in my opinion. People still applauded Jesus a bit more, but I think it was just for convention.
Overall, it was nice. I'm a bit confused about this play, mixed feelings. I didn't like how they chose to start it: in the first minutes of the play you see images of new york, in a huge screen, almost 3 times the size of a cinema screen, and then you see the 9/11 scenes, the plane crashing..... and... I mean, why?
I know they meant to update the play, and refer to the religious wars nowadays, but it was just not justified and very shocking. I was trying to hold the tears in and not being able to. And I didn't like that, too violent. I shut down emotionally quite a bit after that and was more cinical during the rest of the play. Lack of sensitivity, is my first critique.
Also it's a very flashy kind of show, kind of like Cirque du Soleil, and the production/ setting and the actors were just not up to it, most of the actors weren't that good, problably because they casted them for the singing abilities above all. That was a bit distracting sometimes. I tend to be a bitch with performing arts. I try not to. They make me itchy if they aren't really good. I did gain some respect for actors after doing a workshop of public speaking with an actor a few weeks ago. It can be a real art to use your body and soul to... well, pretend you're someone else. But as it may be obvious along this post, I have a bit of a problem with non realistic things.
The mixed feelings are mostly because the story of jesus is so well known, and most people, and certainly I, have our own interpretation of what happened and how. I guess that is the whole point of the play: to be rebelious and -at the time it came out, circa 1973 - be revolutionary, and show the jewish version of who Jesus was, just a man. They don't show the ressurection. It ends in the death.
note: the following paragraph is a post scriptum edit, so nevermind if it's not too coherent with the next piece of text.
-> I'm realizing Judas is "secretly"- in the sense it's not too obvious - meant to be the hero. He does die in the end, just as Jesus. He dies in remorse. But he does come back! He sort of resurrects and comes back with black wings, some time after in the play! OMG! How ironic. It is ironic that this video above is publicised by a catholic institution, and the voice-off at the theater is a well known radio guy who talks about his christian faith publicly, and the theater was filled with old catholic looking people mostly. This is what saturn -mercury will do to you. I take my sweet time to figure things out. I wonder if other people figured Judas is the hero in Jesus christ Super star. Oh the irony.
Pre insight text -> The characters are very human in a "plutonic" way: very visceral, not mystical or spiritual at all. That is the only original thing in the play. Which i liked but causes the mixed feelings I mentioned, created an opposition between my interpretation of the story and the author's. I think it would have been more realistic to portray the followers of Jesus like a new age cult nowadays, people a little lost and tending to fanaticism, but I guess that wasn't common at all in the pre Jesus era. He started the trend. Before him religions were pretty much like they are now again, mostly conventional rituals, traditions. He began the cult feeling. The spiritual-minority truth-holders-missionary thing. Not enough sociological studies on those.
One thing wasn't either original nor realistic at all. Jesus was a jew, he wasn't a nordic blue eyed blond hair barbie man. He was dark and had a long nose like jews do. He definatly wasn't blond. But that is also the way he is portrayed in the catholic paintings all over my grandmother's house, a barbie doll. Judas is mixed race, of course! In the original play he is dark as night actually.
They - not exactly made a caricature - but made each character into an archetype. The bad and the good. The black and the white. And the purple. This is more obvious in the secondary characters. The priests are very "evil witch". Judas is the more complex one. And he seems to be a bit jeoulous of Jesus and Magdalene sometimes. There's a very gay and sexualized energy to the play all along. A tad of venezualian-soap-opera kind of love triangle. Which is interesting. It's rebelious to wonder the motivations of the people behind such a religious story.
The main characters, Judas, Peter and Magdalene seem to beleive Jesus isn't God, he's a mere man, an iluded man, which they love (and lust) nonetheless. People of no faith!!!! :) Did make me remember that the idea of faith being a good thing began after Jesus. That's when it became real important at least. Before, when Moses was leading the jews accross the desert and they were bitchin all the way, lacking faith, Moses would complain and bitch back, but no problem, God would still send the mana to feed them and keep them safe nontheless. Trying to prove himself to them. After Jesus that changed. no faith, no deal.
I loved Judas, he is extremely talented and a hottie.
III P.S. - In defense of my brain, I have to say it really isn't obvious that Judas is the hero. He is very sexualized and agressive, and a traitor!.. and he's in black, and he commits suicide, and when he comes back with his wings, he comes back in a sort of boys band, they all have black wings. The message that he is the hero is very subliminal. It only came to my attention this play might be a jewish version of the events because I read someone mention that on youtube just now, fecthing that video above. I didn't watch the play expecting it to be anti christ. And they sure don't make it in-your-face obvious like they do with all the other secondary characters. He's a man that beleives what he is doing, though he has a human side too, being afraid of dying. That shows he wasn't a psycho. He is very respected... as a human, never as God. I didn't give that much thought though -just got a little ich at the lack of historic accuracy - because I thought it was acceptable, that will just make the ressurection that much more spectacular... but no. Only Judas came back from death. Judas the hell raising, Jesus lusting traitor.
Jesus is the one that takes center stage at the end and names the play and all! And all the christians go an see it and applaude Jesus at the end.
Oh god. I'm having a saturn-mercury crisis. Do you think I might be retarded? I'll ask my bf if he figured it out. He's usually pretty quick at that sort of thing. If he didn't i'll calm down.
It is very sarcastic that Jesus is portrayed as a barbie man. Shows the shear ignorance people have about who he was. Now I see why this play is such a classic. It appeals to all people, the christians enjoy the publicity to Jesus either way, i'm sure. It's pretty brilliant actually. Not the fact it appeals to all, but the play itself, it's potencially an awesome show in the right conditions.
Maybe I didn't get it because I couldn't understand all the words they were singing, and the acting wasn't that great.
I watched a clip of the Judas in the JCSS movie and he made it a bit more clear that he was a nice person, divided. This Judas today was more raged all the time, crazed. It was confusing. The director might have adapted a little, to make it harder for people to get it. Because portugal is a very religious country, he wouldn't have an audience if people were understanding the message. Really ironic that christian man was the voice off of the play. Ok, enough rambling about this.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Aren't these amazing?? I just made them and I'm sooo excited!!
They are freakin delicious! And I think they look beautiful.
I have to go because I'm sending these pictures to friends online and they are coming over right now!
Thanks to Pioneer Woman for this recipe!!! I was reading her blog all night long! http://www.thepioneerwomancooks.com/2007/06/cinammon_rolls_.html
She's alot of fun to read, and there's amazing recipes there.
Be back later!
Saturday, January 19, 2008
I made the best chicken soup ever. The best roasted meat. The best caccoa balls, the best fruit salad.... what else..? potato salad. banana pancakes. I'm having violent urges to bake home made cookies. which i've never done by myself. I've decided to wait and get proper ingredients and do them tomorrow. also having urges of discovering how to make pizza dough, so I can make the perfect pizza. I use a tomato sauce for pizza which is delicious. then put some canned pineapple in tiny bits, and green pepper in tiny bits and them a mix of cheeses or just mozzarela, it's great. Except I do it with frozen pizza bases and they're ok, but not very exciting. I miss good pizza. There are 3 pizzarias in my island and they are all very good. (the photo is from one of those, i didn't make it) My island has 15 thousand people. I now live in lisbon, which has half a million people, and no good pizza anywhere. I've looked hard. There are some that are interesting but not my idea of pizza at all. Most are just very very bad. This pains me much. I had a very good pizza in a town up north once. 300 kms away.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
I'm stupid, I know.
But some things just don't make alot of sense to a non medical person like myself.
I will try it again, but with water or water and magnesium sulfate, or a proper soap. Maybe I'm too clugged for anything to go in yet. I'll keep trying. Wish me luck. Meawhile I went shopping and am preparing a nice dinner for tonight. :)
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Saturday, January 05, 2008
This is one of many videos on youtube about The God Delusion, a best seller book by Oxford professor Richard Dawkins, and my fellow Truth Seeker.
It's anti religion, and anti "God". I haven't read it, but i have figured that much from the videos. He reminds me of me on my atheist phase. He's an aries. He problably has lots of planets in Pisces and I'd guess some in Sagitarius too, and problably has always cared about the issue of God, the Truth, Science...... as I have. Pisces and Sag is the right recipe for a Truth Seeker.
I agree with his arguments (the ones I was able to see on a few videos). I wish I could list them here because for me, being an atheist was the process of learning to think rationally and abstractly. Some people achieve this hability by the age of 21 but many never do and thinking about these things might stymulate readers minds, which is always a healthy thing.
I came up up my own most brilliant atheist arguments, I didn't read them anywere, I was actually struggeling to be able to have faith again, after having built my life on the christian faith, but my mind very suddeny kept coming up with arguments against it. I must have increased a few points in IQ those couple of years. I can't talk about Richard's Hawkins arguments, just say i agree with the ones I heard, and take this chance to briefly talk about where I stand about this god thing.
I wish I could hear R.H. talk about the shortcomings of the scientific method. All reality isn't palpable, measurable..etc... we're surrounded by images and sounds that tv's and radios can translate but our senses can't. animals hear sound waves that we can't, and so forth: the senses are very limited. And so is the scientific method in dealing with certain issues such as the existence of God.
In some videos he seems angry about it all, I imagine he might feel as if he spent too much time of his life running in the wrong path, as I once thought, or maybe he's just angry because he beleives that religion is stoping millions of people from having real lifes and keeping them from the Truth, and all that it implies... (Our beloved Truth. My sag moon NEEDS the truth to a fault, to pathology). I felt like that, untill later i realized there is no wrong path...... All paths are right, for different people at different times, and even though some seem to have very bad effects on the world, you need to let them be, because they will be corner stones to a broader view along the way. That sure relaxed me more.
I hope he is able to continue to be a true scientist, as curious for the Truth as before, whichever new paradigm it may be, and not let his book become his own religious dogma, the final thing. It's not fun to be angry very long, or seeing things in black and white like his opposers do.
I see that whatever upsets you alot is your own shadow, no matter who or what is wearing it at the time it upsets you. Because people tend to have the same faults as the Other they are projecting upon . See how Bush claims to hate the terrorists and ended up being the worst one of all? That's how it works. He's at excatly the same level as they are. If your level of conscience/awareness is higher then someone's you don't ever feel very affected by them because you understand and simpathize with their different path /or ignorance, because it's where you once were yourself, and have been able to love yourself to the next stage. If you do get affected then look closely at what it is that affects you because that is your greater teacher about yourself, your mirror. You will be affected by someone if you still hate the part of yourself that you see in them. Learning to love who you are and where you are, and treat yourself like a lovely child learning it's lovely way through life, that's were you will find wisdom, peace, and God.
God is around, available, and it's essence is Love. That's the best definition I've found so far. Wherever true love is, you'll know you're close to the Source. Romantic love isn't usually the most pure form of this Love.. but it's a nice way to start grasping it, if that's what's available. The bible calls it Agape love, it's closer to brotherly love. unconditional, accepting. To love means to unite, accept, include in yourself.
If people are truth seekers at heart, they will find the truth.
Me, I've found that there are lots of things spiritual, all kinds.. i'm not familiar with most of them. Some people talk about lost spirits, demons, angels, spiritual hierarchy and whatnot. I beleive there are things out there, don't know exactly wht they are. They'll let me know if i need to or when I need to. I beleive in the Goodness of God. I have experienced extreme love and guidance, wisdom, when closer to the Source, in spirit.
I'm very inclined to beleive in reincarnation after having a few regressions and just realizing it explains so many things, like why people are already born with different characteristics, temperaments, personalities (psychology hasn't been able to figure that out in a way that would satisfy me).
It also explains my phobias. The can be defined as intense irrational fear of an object or situation. I beleive phobias usually come from bad past life experiences, usually ways in which one died. I have a phobia to water taps that don't work. I panick and it feels like I'm about to die. It is the worst experience for me to come accross a water tap that isn't working, or even a sewer in the street rushing water out.. Ok, i'm freaking out now just thinking about this. (*breathe....think of something else, something nice*) People with phobias will understand. Others won't. But loads of people have phobias. I find them fascinating.
I once asked my spiritual guide to show me a past life that had had the most impact on the present life and in that life I happened to have drowned inside a ship. The water was coming in from a huge tube in the ceiling.. That death was traumatic because my soul did not accept it. Not my ego, because that would be pretty normal, but my soul didn't, and that's alot like God not accepting something he caused himself. It's not a good thing. Once you dissociate that much with your soul it causes a few problems. In my case it caused a big part of me to not want to be born again. Not accepting death is just the same as not accepting life. Because there is no death really. Just cycles, of learning and maybe helping others if you choose to come for that reason.
But back to the subject, in psychology classes I've learned phobias can generalize to similar objects. e.g. someone with a phobia of tigers might become phobic of felines in general. So I figure the tube with uncontrolable water coming was registered intensely in my soul's memory as a very dangerous "stimulus" and originated the water tap phobia, making me feel like my life is threatned when I'm in that situation. Reincarnation explains this. This made me learn how important the present really is, it can mark your soul forever, actually not only it can, it does! Either for good or bad. Even when you are able to heal yourself, the experience is still there, with a different meaning now, but it's all registered.
I'm learning to define who God might be by my own experience, it's a very slow but steady process.
One of the things I learned and won't let go of, from my atheist phase, is that only first hand experience is good enough if you are seeking the truth. It's great to hear about all kinds of things but I wouldn't advice anyone to invest too much in something that doesn't make all the sense according to their personal experience. Because your life is made of choices, make them as smartly as you can. I try to.
Maria Flavia de Monsaraz, an astrology teacher, and honorary Truth seeker, usually says she doesn't teach anything, she just reminds it to people, in the sense that our souls recognize the Truth when they are in their presence. It makes sense. But I also notice what makes sense at some point in your life might haven't always. If you weren't ready for it before.. timing is very important in all this. Chill (but be smart in your choices), and learn to love, is what I try to do now.